The Created Being

We were created by a creative God who put every detail of the universe in place with the utmost precision and for the upmost purpose. When we ponder upon the ramifications of the Imago Dei, we center ourselves on the communicable attributes of God’s goodness, kindness, graciousness, and mercifulness. We know of who God is by our awareness of these very attributes, but there is one characteristic of God’s being that we marvel at, but never fully correlate to our lives: his creativity. You and I have an awareness of the objective beauties and truths of God through His creation. One does not have to search long before being struck with awe and wonder of creation. Our jaws dropped seeing the sheer scale of a dinosaur’s skeleton as our imaginations tried to fathom how such gigantic creatures existed in our world. We stop in wonder of the galaxy when astrological phenomena are captured by NASA’s telescopes. Our scrupulous studies of the microscopic world reveal an intricate level of detail that is hard to fathom. Everything detail of the universe, no matter how large or small, was designed from God’s creativity. Awesome and mighty. Fearfully powerful and intensely methodical. A wondrous intentionality that is beyond our capacity to fully comprehend. Our God is awesome!

We often think of creativity as something that is limited to those who possess artistic ability, but creativity is so much more than the arts. Creativity is problem solving. Creativity is looking beyond the immediate to see the potential of something larger. Creativity is developing the potential of others. Creativity is adapting ones experiences into something that is relatable. Creativity is an inherent part of who we are as created beings. We were created by God and have been imbued with an inherent need to create in some way, shape, or form. Our creativity takes many different forms, but our inherent need to be creative is evidenced by our awareness of the objective truths and beauties of God and His creation. Creation reveals its creator in what is known as general revelation. The world around us, in partnership with the moving of the Holy Spirit, draws our attention to the higher being that created everything around us. This revelation is not enough to bring us to salvation, but is enough to seek after who God is. What purpose would this serve if we had no appreciation of the intricacies of creation? While there is subjectivity in our appreciation of works of art, there is simply no subjectivity in God’s character. His truth, beauty, and justice are absolute. They are whole just as He is whole. There exists no blemish or error within their intrinsic essence, nor is there any deviation in God’s essence. Thus lies the intentionality of God’s purpose behind creation.

Creativity and intentionality are in an inseparable relationship. When God created the universe there was no force acting upon Him. He created from within Himself. His motivation alone was the intent behind creating. He didn’t see anything done halfway. God saw everything that He created through to its completion with the greatest intentionality (What makes you think that He’s not as intentional with you as He is with what He made? He created you after all!). We see in Genesis that as God looked over the Earth and Heavens that He declared that what He had made as good. Yet, as good as everything that He had made was, He was not done. God created Man in His image and declared that Man was very good! Above all the things that God created, you are the pinnacle of His handiwork! Every part of you is intentionally made by God, and He breathed life into you. You are more precious than the finest jewelry or the purest diamond. You are the craftsmanship of the holy God!

You possess something far greater and more powerful than you may realize. Something that comes with a responsibility for stewardship. God, in creating you, bestowed upon you gifting, talents, passions, and a calling. You are a messenger of the Gospel of Jesus Christ to those around you. Those gifts that you possess are tools in your arsenal to communicate God’s truths to those who most desperately need to hear of God’s cause. We must be intentional in carrying this message. Intentional in expressing these truths creatively though art, writing, conversation, story telling, and so much more. Whether you realize it or not, you have a platform to communicate the Gospel wherever you are and a command to leverage your life for the sake of the kingdom. If you are a believer of Christ, you must not neglect that purpose God has bestowed upon you.

When you stop in awe and wonder at the sunset, remember that God who painted it uniquely. When you pause to take in the beauty of the waves crashing upon the shore, remember that God who created you unlike any other. Embrace the calling God has bestowed upon your life and chase after him with all that you are. Run with all the tenacity you can muster after Him! You are a created being and, as a believer, a reflection of God’s handiwork. Be confident in Him and find your assurance, your creativity, and purpose in Him and Him alone.

-Terren

Trials and Tribulations

I still feel terrible for my childhood friends who would invite me to sleep over, because I routinely would wake up in the middle of the night requesting to go home. Time after time, my mother would arrive to pick me up, apologize for the disruption, and take me home. I never intended to leave their homes in the middle of the night as I truly delighted in their company and friendship. I would have a good time with my friends and enjoyed the games played, time spent exploring the neighborhood, and the like… but I was uncomfortable. I was not home.

Since I joined the world of adulthood, I’ve only grown more aware of the fact that I am not truly home. In those quiet times of exhaustion and disillusionment, I’ve cried out to God for being handed over to seemingly insurmountable trials and tribulations. If I’m being honest with you, I have felt as though every blessing that has come from God has been met with a curse. I have felt that every bit of effort to take care of the endless parade of fires has gotten me nowhere, like a dog chasing its tail. This nagging feeling has plagued me for the better part of a decade and has only been exasperated in the last year by the passing of someone that I loved deeply. In the following year, as we find ourselves in the middle of the most unsettling, divisive year in my lifetime, I see how God has done a work in my life to address the brokenness within me and to open my eyes to that which is not so easily seen.

This past weekend I was given some important news that was an answered prayer. A blessing that ends nearly two years of uncertainty that has weighed heavily upon myself and my family, but this blessing reveals that there are going to be difficult days ahead. There are going to be serious struggles ahead in life that will continue to weigh heavily upon me. God has given an answer to a prolonged need, and has given insight into what is to come. A year ago, I would not be so thrilled by this news. I would be dreading the misfortunate that lay around the preverbal corner that would most certainly follow such a blessing. God, at times (in my brutal honesty of my thoughts and perspectives), was a bully. Toying with me. Teasing me by getting my hopes up, and then yanking away whatever it was that He was seemingly providing. God is not how my emotions perceive. God is not my feelings. He is so much bigger and more perfect than that.

I had one of those moments that things just clicked in my mind. I know that God is good and that He is just. I also know that things are not going to be fair in this life. I know that God is not toying, bullying me, or teasing me with false hopes. That’s not His nature or character. When God blesses us, He’s answering a prayer that we’ve been praying or providing for something that we did not know we needed in the moment. Those blessings are also necessary tools to equip us for the hardships of life. The trials and tribulations that shake at the foundations of our lives. When I received the news of God’s provision over the weekend, I immediate recognized the dual nature of what it meant. To put it into a phrase, God said, ‘I’ve got you in this moment, and I’m showing you where to prepare.’ This is not a message that’s unheard of to any follower of Christ. The Old Testament is filled with passages of God speaking directly to His people of what He is doing and what is about to unfold. At times, Israel failed to understand just what that entailed. Which brings us to one of the most popular verses of scripture. Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

This verse is often taken out of context, but that is primarily because we only focus on the immediacy of the words spoken by the prophet Jeremiah. This foretelling comes at a pivotal time in the life of Israel. God is about to do something completely unprecedented. He’s condemning Israel for their failure to live up to the purpose God had called them to. Their idolatrous, lustful, unfaithfulness hindered their capability to be a light unto the surrounding nations of who God is, and so God changed the game, so to speak. God used the prophets to condemn Israel and to speak encouragement to them for what was going to come later. God blessed them time and time again while also allowing for greater and greater trail and tribulation upon Israel. When Jeremiah proclaims the word of the Lord to Israel, God is telling Israel that something drastic is about to occur, but that this plan is for their welfare and not harm. For their future and for their hope.

For the first time since He created all things, God separated Himself from Israel. After sending the prophets to condemn Israel’s sinful nature and prophesying of the hope to come, God was silent for 400 years. When you turn the page between the last page of the Old Testament and begin reading the Gospel of Matthew, 400 years have passed in which God was silent. The world was not outside of His sovereign reign, but He did not speak to His people. He was at work preparing something far more grand than any of us could have ever imagined. He was preparing the way for Jesus. The hope and future that God is speaking of in Jeremiah 29:11 is the Messiah. The one who would make a way where there was no other way. The one to bring both a hope for and a future in life! God’s greatest blessing was in response to a need and was given with an encouragement for those receiving that blessing to prepare themselves for what was to come.

God is at work, friends! For every follower of Christ, we know and can trust that God’s blessings are good things that have the purpose of both meeting our needs and to prepare us for what is to come. These trials and tribulations can be the heaviest, most difficult things we’ve ever faced, but they all pale when compared to the eternal weight of glory that is to come. These trials and tribulations can bring about some of our greatest suffering. Still, in the presence of such difficult realities, God is at work to bring about something greater!

“every millisecond of your misery in the path of obedience is producing
a peculiar glory you will get because of that suffering.”

When I would stay at someone else’s home as a child, I was never in harms way. I was never in danger. Everything was pretty normal as things go, and yet I was not comfortable. I wasn’t in my bed that I knew so well surrounded by the walls of my home that were so familiar. I was outside of the known and that in and of itself was terrifying. I, eventually, got to the point where I would stay over all night, but I often times did not sleep at all. I would get lay on the sofa or wherever I was placed and would lay there throughout the night with nothing but my imagination. This was a time before smart phones and ubiquitous internet connections. Even though I would remain at my friend’s house overnight, I was not any more comfortable. Such is the nature of trials and tribulations. They stretch us and draw us out beyond our comfort zones for the purpose of growth and exemplification of the hope that is found within us. We are not handed over to tribulation without purpose. That purpose is always so that we may be made more perfect in Christ (2 Corinthians 4:17-18, James 1:2-4).

We can trust God through our affliction. At times we may feel as though God is against us… I know I have certainly felt this way toward God. In the midst of the greatest suffering and affliction I’ve ever experiences (see Deep Calls to Deep), something in the depths of my soul clung to the truth of God’s goodness and faithfulness. I was on the bring of hopelessness and despair, but all I had was God. There, in my brokenness, God began to restore me in ways I could not have predicted a year ago. This moment, the here and now, where I have seen God bless beyond measure, is speaking to the challenges that are yet to come. I may choose to hope for that which He is going to continue to do in my life to prepare me for the trials yet to come. I may choose to know that He will see me through. As uncomfortable and difficult as they may be. Whatever it cost me is nothing to that which it cost Him to see me sanctified in His death and resurrection.

In Him, I am made new. Day after day, He is my everything. My one desire. I have a home in who God is.

Terren

The Chaotic Mixed Bag of Life

Y’all, I’m beyond exhausted. The coronavirus has sent my already turbulent life into chaos. The country shut down and I continued to work. States began reopening, and now they’re shutting down once again. Everything that was level is now suddenly upside-down again. How do you aim at a target when the ground is shaking, the target ever moving, and your feet are increasingly unsteady beneath you? Life as I knew it changed forever a year ago, and now COVID-19 is the icing on the cake. My social life has been suffocated by, well, distance. Day to day workload has increased, changed, morphed, grown, and multiplied by the unending pandemic. Relaxation has been limited to what I can do at home, behind a screen, and through the internet. I do not feel as though I am living, but fighting a current that pulls me farther and farther away from the shore. As an essential employee, the effects of coronavirus were being felt by it was different. My daily schedule changed a little bit, but it was still relatively normal. Now, I’m busier than ever and I yearn for a break.

I’m feeling discouraged in this moment. It’s very easy for me to latch onto everything that’s going wrong or not going how I would like it to be and to complain. There is a place to grieve that which we are not having currently… I don’t know how to describe what it feels like, but there’s something different that is stirring within me. I sense that some of what I’m feeling stems from the lessons I’ve learned walking through grief over the past 10 months. There’s a softened stance toward things that seems to be working against me. Since or just before the pandemic swept over America, I’ve: been promoted at work to an incredible position full of possibilities, found a beautiful home to rent, moved in with two Godly friends, and have continued to have a job throughout this whole ugly pandemic. God has provided for me throughout this season. I cannot deny that. Yet, even with these awesome things, I am weary. I am tired. I am spread thin.

I very actively try to use my platform(s) as accurate representations of reality. I do not try to portray my life as being something that it’s not on social media. I try to be very transparent through this website. I try to learn and share from my experiences. Yet, with that being said, there are things that are going on that have etched away at me. Burdens that weigh heavily upon me. Trials that have been excruciatingly unpleasant. How does one handle these things when you’ve been trapped by COVID-19? I’ve certainly felt trapped. Trapped by grief creeping in as anniversaries approach. Trapped in my helplessness from things that are beyond my ability. Trapped in the missed deadlines of an unrelenting education. My life is madness. Chaos.

Still, even as I feel and write this, I hope… I hope for many things. I hope for rest. For companionship. For finished goals. For relief from my afflictions. Above all, I hope that the Lord would shine His face upon His people. To remind myself and us that He has a reason for allowing this madness. I wish I could say I knew what that purpose was on an individualistic perspective, but I know at the end it is to make us more Christ-like. I wish I knew what the purpose and reason is for most of everything that’s occurred over the last twelve months. Alas, it is not for my to know on this side of heaven. Yet, still, this pandemic has increased my appreciation for the people God has placed in my life.

We’ve been all over the place. Distanced. Hanging out via Zoom. Moving forward in life. Celebrating anniversaries. Yet, we’ve grown closer together. I look forward to the day that we can do things normally once again. Where game night is not limited to our separate homes but packed around the kitchen table. I miss the laughter, the hugs, the simplicity of just being in the same room as people. With the way Texas is presently, it appears as though it will be some more time before that’s going to be possible. Still, God’s placed these wonderful people in my life, I am grateful.

Honestly, life has been hard. A mixed bag. I’m up and down. Tossed left and right. Optimistic and skeptical. Praising God and questioning what’s coming next. I am not doubled minded, but torn between the world I inhabit and the one I was designed for. The brokenness of sin being put on full display through this pandemic. As I learn more through the wisdom that comes with life experience, I realize more my need for God’s provision. I cannot do it with Him. He is the reason I get up each morning. The source of my hope. The one who’s given me a purpose to love others deeply, fully, and unconditionally. It’s not about me or what I bring to the table, but how I can love other how God has loved me. I don’t have a teachable lesson or deep meaningful insights to the Christian life, but just where I am currently. The good, bad, and ugly. Life’s not perfect, but there’s a reason to hope in God through it all!

Terren

Fear Not: The Reason for Our Hope

We find ourselves in one of the most unconventional periods of recent history. Schools are closed, grocery store shelves are barren, travel has experienced severe whiplash, and the stock market is tanking. The Coronavirus (COVID-19) has dominated headlines as the world has come to a dead standstill. I believe it would be accurate to say that people are concerned, if not outright panicked by this sweeping virus. For those who are not cynically posting COVID-19 related memes on social media, you may have legitimate concerns for how your life is about to unfold. I wish to remind you that this is not the first time in history that we’ve faced unprecedented circumstances. The 2008 housing market crash sent the United States into a recession. The terrorist attacks of September 11th stopped life in America. The Cold War pitted Capitalism and Communism against one another through espionage. The world changed forever when Hitler’s Nazi party brought the nations to the brink of despair. Each of these historic, landmark events presented unprecedented challenges to everyday people. Fears and panic were stoked as uncertainty loomed over the horizon.

I want you to know that concern is a warranted state of mind to have in this moment, but not panic. I want you to know that you ought to be informed about this virus so that you may make wise decisions, but not worried. I want you to know that there is hope for tomorrow, even when the headlines keep lighting up our notifications. If you are a follower of Christ, you have no cause for inflammatory, reactionary alarm. Yes, churches are closing their doors and telling their congregations to worship at home via the internet. Yes, your small groups are postponed for the time being. Yes, it’s not really all that great that you don’t get to see your friend group three times a week as you normally would. This is hardly what anyone wanted. Yet, in this unconventional season we find ourselves in, an opportunity is clearly before you and I to display who Christ is to a world looking for peace.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God…

Isaiah 41:10

During this time, you have an opportunity unlike most others. To be a person of peace and stability to your neighbors who may be terrified of what is transpiring. The world, unknowingly, is looking for security where it may find it. For most, that security is in ludicrous amounts of toilet paper and hand sanitizer, but even those won’t last forever. When God spoke through the prophets to Israel, their nation had faced ever increasing bondage from its surrounding nations. Under captivity of Assyria, God foretold Israel that something was about to happen. He was at work. Carrying out His sovereign will over His creation. In the moment, Israel did not understand or listen to the prophet’s as they foretold of what God was doing. For 400 years, God remained silent. No new revelation. Nothing but silence. During those 400 years, Israel would be a puppet state to the Greek Empire then later the Roman Empire. Jewish culture continued under their Greek and Roman captivity, but was also shaped and molded by the influence of their parent states. Yet, beyond the scope of Israel’s awareness, God was at work to bring His creation back under His fold.

Right now, God is still at work. The Holy Spirit is moving. COVID-19 has not caught God off guard. He is not surprised but the incredible speed in which it has disrupted our lives. Nor is God hindered by its presence on our Earth. This is not the first time either that the Church has faced pandemics or disasters, nor will it be the last. If you are a follower of Christ, I want you to know that you have a unique opportunity before you to remember who your God is and to tell other of who He is!

for God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:7

As we face ever changing circumstances, we have to chose our response! We may respond in faith and trust that God is good and that He will continue to sustain His church. We may hope in the face of despair and dismay. We may hope in the face of danger. We may trust in the midst of persecution. Through it all, we may see how God is at work to bring more and more people to salvation. No greater evidence do we have of God working to bring hope to the hopeless than what He did 400 years after the prophets.

For 400 years, God was quiet. Seemingly separated from His chosen people, God was preparing something incredible. Just as COVID-19 has separated many of us from our closest peers and family, sin separated you and I from God. Our disobedience to God diametrically kept us from being in relationship from God. Take a moment to think about that. If you are like at me in this moment, I long to spend time with my friends once again. Texting, social media, and FaceTime don’t do justice to true gathering and fellowship with one another. The immense longing you have to be ’round your peers is just a measure of the longing God had to be in relationship with you. In order to bring you and I back into relationship with Him, sin had to be atoned for by a sacrifice of infinite magnitude. True love displayed through the grotesqueness of sacrifice. That sacrifice was Jesus Christ.

Jesus was fully God and fully man. 400 years after going silent, God announced to the world that He was working when the angel of the Lord appeared to some shepherd who were working in a field and announced, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people (Luke 2:10 ESV).” Before Christ spoke His first words, God was telling the world to not be afraid! God announced, after centuries of silence, that He is here. He is working. Christ lived a life without sin. He was tempted, as you and I to disobey God, but He did not sin. Jesus attested to the work God was doing and the purpose for His presence on Earth with us. As Jesus taught of God’s purpose, the people did not understand. Even Jesus’ own disciples did not understand His teachings, and He would have to come back and explain what He was teaching to them so that they may understand. Jesus’ testimony of the Father made the religious leaders angry, because Jesus revealed the brokenness of their ways. Therefore, the religious leaders bore false witness against Jesus and had Him arrested for blasphemy. When the high priest asked Jesus if He was the Christ, Jesus answered “I am, and you will see the Son of Man seated at the right hand of Power, and coming with the clouds of heaven (Mark 14:62).” Tearing his robe, the high priest rejected Christ and failed to see God’s sovereign plan in action before them. Their own agenda was their own downfall. The religious leadership stood against God and brought condemnation upon themselves.

Jesus was then taken before Pilate, the Roman governor of Judea, to be judged. Pilate asked Jesus the same question as the religious leaders, “Are you the King of the Jews?” Jesus responded simply, “You have said so.” Pilate made a decision to give the people of Jerusalem the choice, Jesus or a known murderer. Even Pilate suspected that the religious leaders had subjected Jesus to him out of envy, and yet Pilate sought to satisfy the Jewish people. The religious leaders stirred up the crowd to choose the murderer of Jesus and have Him crucified. Jesus was whipped, beaten, and nailed to a crude cross. Mocking Him, he had a crown of thrones shoved onto His head. I wish I could describe to you the brutality and utter grotesqueness of the cruxifixction. Israel had forsaken Jesus and chose to put Him on the cross to die. Yet, as He suffocated upon the cross, Jesus prayed to God, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing (Luke 23:34).” In their condemnation of Jesus, Israel forsake the one who came to save them. Jesus died upon the cross as a sacrifice to bring Israel and the rest of creation back into reconciliation with God!

As Jesus died upon the cross, one of the centurion who watched over Him observed, “surely this man was the Son of God (Mark 15:39).” Just as the first tellings of Christ’s arrival on earth, so too is the first observation of who Christ is came at the moment God’s purposeful work was unfolding. Three days after Jesus died, He rose from the grave. Having been placed in a tomb, sealed with a heavy stone, and watched under guard of Roman soldiers, Christ had been resurrected. He folded the ceremonial cloth that had been wrapped over His body. The stone was rolled away, and the Son of God was alive. Those who came to mourn Jesus, noticed the stone had been rolled away and entered the tomb. The angel of the Lord met them as they entered the tomb and said, “don’t be alarmed. You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He is risen! He is not here (Mark 16:6)…” Death could not hold Jesus. He who was without sin, defeated death. Jesus is the living sacrifice that made a way for you and I to be reunited with God!

Jesus brought hope to the hopeless. He loved those who did not deserve love. He revealed the purposeful work of God. During those 400 years of silence, God was not passive. He was actively working to prepare the way for Jesus to come and fulfill God’s sovereign will. God is in control and is working despite the brokenness of the world. Despite evil’s best efforts, God has won. Sin and death has been defeated by Christ’s sacrifice upon that ugly cross. My friends, if you have placed your faith in Christ, remember who God is during this season of fear and uncertainty. Remember that you are a vessel for the good news that we were told about! Do not be afraid of what may come, for God is reigning over all of creation. May we, the Church, take the testimony of Jesus’ life and sacrifice to the world that is desperately needing peace. At this moment, we have an opportunity to make God’s love, grace, and mercy known throughout our communities. How we respond COVID-19 is a direct reflection of our walks with Christ. May our faith be a spark that brings repentance to brokenness. May God spur us on to be even more bold messengers and witnesses of His majesty!

May we respond to times of crisis with steadfast faith. May our hope shine into the darkness. There is hope in tomorrow, for Jesus is our hope and stay!

Thoughts & Reflections

Hello friends, it’s so good to see you again! I’ve had many topics in which I’ve thought about writing about, and every time I sit down to write this annoyingly small creature perches upon my shoulder called writer’s block. Like every other block in my life it’s… um… frustrating! I’m not exactly sure what I have to say or how coherent or structured this piece is going to be, but I just want to share what’s been going on and be transparent about things. I ask that you take what you read with a grain of salt, because what I share is not necessarily the reality of things… rather what I am feeling.

If you do not know me, there’s a couple of things you should know about me that may help you have insight into what follows from here. I am a deeply internal processor. I feel things deeply. My emotions are felt strongly. I relate to the world based on how I feel. At the same time, I am a very literal and cerebral thinker. I process everything through the lens of what makes most logical sense. What is most effective or efficient. Thus, I have this (admittedly troublesome) ability to over-think things. In seeking efficiency, I tend to make things WAY more complicated than they need to be. I am, undoubtedly, my own worst enemy.

Moreover, I am also my biggest critic. The hubris of humility (at least as I analyze myself) is that I am completely unremarkable. I’m not the best writer, my photography is okay, I can come off too strong. Again, take what you read with a grain of salt… what I feel is not what is true. Perception is not always reality, especially when I know that my thoughts often betray me. At times, I feel relegated to my eleven foot by ten foot corner of the universe as though it’s a storage unit for me to reside in until a task requires my technical abilities rather than my presence actually being wanted. As if I’m known for what I do and less for who I am. I feel as though people depend on me to be strong, even though I feel as though I’m crumbling to pieces…

I have a hard time admitting these things to others. I have difficulty finding the right words, in the moment, to describe where I am at. It frustrates me to no end, because I know (although do not always recognize) that none of these things are inherently true in their nature. So why am I so insecure? What is it that these ideas seemingly reoccur time and time again when things are going so well? I have been and continue to be so undeserving of the blessings God has bestowed upon me in this life, and yet every blessing seems to be met with an ever increasing attack from the enemy. I do not always fall to the attacks of the enemy, but it has lingering heaviness upon my soul in the process nonetheless.

A couple months ago, I wrote about how difficult it is for me to pray for my own needs while incredibly easy to pray for others. I’m still working on that because I’m stubborn… but something that I’ve had to face recently goes back to the paraphrase of James 4:2-3. You have not, because you ask not. Apart from my pleading to God to take up the weight of my grief, I cannot remember the last time I told God what I wanted. Not as some petulant, obstinate, selfish child, but shared with God the deepest, intimate, sincerest desire of my heart. Who better to share with great confidence than God the desires of our hearts and souls?

Last year, when I was in Southeast Asia I was sitting outside of our hotel with a friend of mine. We had been talking for a little bit about our time over there, and how hospitable the people had been to us. One of the things that I got to experience was drinking coconut water straight from the coconut, but she had not. She confided to me, that she had prayed for a coconut as silly as that may be. I kid you not, the moment that she shared her prayer with me, we heard a dull thunk on the ground a few meter away. A coconut had fallen out a tree. You guys should have seen her smile as her request had been heard and met. As simple as it may seem, God is faithful to provide. He hears our requests and encourages our souls by His simple reminders.

Each of those things that I’ve described above appear when certain topics or desires begin pressing upon my heart. I probably would not describe myself as insecure, but as I lay all of these things out there… perhaps there are some deeply rooted insecurities that I need to address in my life. Self-doubt. Self-deprecation. There is always a hint of the truth behind humor, especially when it comes at our own expense. Ye

Normally, I try to have some teachable lesson from my experiences that may help others. Yet, in this instance, I believe (somewhat ironically) that greater self-reflection is necessary in order to really lay down these things at the feet of Jesus. Even more so, letting my closest peers in to help me work through some of these things. Learning to just speak plainly about the insecurity, doubt, and fears of my life. Beyond that, I do not know how to end this post apart from leaving it open-ended. A topic to revisit at some later date for writing and discussion.

Check in with Your “Strong” Friends

We know who they are and know why we rely upon them. They are the cornerstones, the pillars, the anchors, the structural supports, and the baseboards. They are our strong friends. For one reason or another, they seem to weather any and all waves that are hurled in their direction through life and seem to remain standing as though nothing phases them. You know exactly who that person or persons are in your life and can probably list off many occasions when you’ve gone to them for advice, for support, or for encouragement. You’ve gone to them frequently, but when is the last time you’ve stopped to check in on them?

Strength manifests itself through a variety of means, and is marked with very specific characteristics. Your “strong” friends can likely be described through the same manner, and are identified by those very specific characteristics. Consistency, integrity, character, authority, and honesty are just a handful of descriptors that we commonly use in reference to our “strong” friends (particularly within Christian circles). Strong friends carry themselves in a particular manner, not as though they are trying to present themselves off as something they are not or as to mischaracterize themselves, but that is a result of their life experiences. Our perception of our strong friends is the beginning of a larger issue, because we overlook or forget that they are going through life just like you and I are. Chances are, your strong friend is exhausted. Chances are, you strong friend feels defeated. Chances are, your strong friend is teetering on the precipice of hopelessness. Chances are, your strong friend is being weighed down by a burdensome dilemma. Remember to check in with you strong friends!

Ultimately, let there be no illusion, each and everyone of us faces our own battles. The war against sin does not simply go away purely on strength or willpower. If that were the case, then why would we need a savior? Jesus Christ came, not to be a remedy or a treatment for temporary illness, as the ultimate cure for a curse that had no cure. In Jesus, sin’s perfect record for death was broken. Liberation came on the cross and hope flooded across the face of the Earth. However, in the midst of life, we all experiences seasons of abundance and seasons of drought. We stand triumphantly on top of the mountain and at other times trudging through the muck and the mire, all the while our eyes stand on the things of the Lord. We may not be without hope, but that does not mean that we’re struggling.

We were designed for community. When God first created Man, He created a helper from Man’s rib. Together, they formed the first community with God in the garden of Eden. Before that, God was in community with Himself as apart of the Trinity. Father, Son, and Spirit were in community with one another! We are no different in the fact that we are not solitary creatures. Your “strong” friends are apart of that community, and they may even be the one’s cultivating an environment in which community may flourish. In doing so, you might not even realize that they’re doing just that or that there may be things lying just under the surface. Your “strong” friends rely on you just as much as you rely upon them. That is the essence of Christian community, that we carry one another’s burdens, that we encourage one another, that we serve one another, and that we edify one another with dignity, honor, and grace.

None of us are meant to go about life alone. We may be put down our individual paths, but God created us to share in life with those He has placed around us. So, as you go about life, remember your strong friends need you too. Ask them how they’re doing. Offer them a word of affirmation. Listen to what they’re facing, and steward the fellowship and community that God created for us.

Uninvited

Pulling out of the driveway of a rented beach house on a beautiful Saturday evening, I was struck by an overwhelming sense of loneliness and separation. There, within the confines of my vehicle, I felt as though I were a million miles away from the rest of the world and from myself. In the heaviest of traffic, I was seized and wretched by this unseen force with tears dammed just beneath the surface ready to breech. In an instant, the bottom dropped out and my heart plummeted into a depths of the abyss. How could this be? Where did this come from? Why do I feel so numb to everything? My world was flipped in one instantaneous moment and has continued to linger since.

My weekend leading up to this moment had been one of the best experiences I’ve had with my friends in a long time. Thursday night we packed into a theater ready to experience all that was Avengers: End Game. The following day was met with one of my favorite pastimes, baseball. Myself and three of my most favorite friends loaded up my car to head to the stadium. We had the most lovely of times watching the game, sharing in laughs over the heckler sitting a row behind us, and the well orchestrated fireworks that followed the game! We truly did have a wonderful evening together. Saturday brought with it a crawfish boil where even more of my friends gathered together to share in fellowship and fun. Yet, just mere hours later, I was struck by the cold, numb feeling of loneliness.

Loneliness is defined as “being without company, cut off from others, not frequented by human beings, sad from being alone, and producing a feeling of bleakness or desolation” by Merriam-Webster. Britannica states that loneliness “occurs when a person’s social relationships are perceived by that person to be less in quantity, and especially in quality, than desired” and highlights the highly subjective nature of loneliness. One may be alone, but not feel lonely whereas one may be surrounded by others and feel lonely. At this time, I fall in the second camp as I’m surrounded by many incredible people who I have strong relationships with, but I feel lonely. Outwardly, I may not appear as though I am hurting but that couldn’t be further from reality. I am not putting up a front or trying to hide my pain, which is, perhaps, why being under this particular mood or temperament is so difficult for me.

Pain comes in many forms, but, unlike physical pain, loneliness hurts without anything inflicting a wound. Loneliness attacks the heart and it’s fragile brokenness is only exaggerated by the spotlight that is isolation. The best way I can describe it for myself is an overarching feeling as if I am just a bystander to other people’s lives and successes. An inconsequential, obscure blur as the world passes by like the trees on the side of the road as your stare out of the car window. The reality is that loneliness hurts unlike any other pain one experiences, and is difficult to describe beyond general abstractions like the definitions given above. In my case, I am not without company, or cut off from others. I am frequently around human beings, and I am not sad from being alone. I may be down, I may feel sad, but my sadness does not stem from being away from others.

Minute Maid Park in downtown Houston seats 41,168 people, which is incredible considering the stadium does not feel as though it is as large as it actually is. Then again that’s what good stadium design is suppose to do. All things considered, being one face in a massive crowd reveals one of the more frustrating aspects of loneliness — just because you’re around people does not mean that you’re not lonely. You may feel fine and know that you’re on good terms with your circle of friends, but you can still feel distant and cold. For myself, I become frustrated by this because I am waging war between what is real and how I currently feel. Bemoaning the difficult navigation that I must take in order to remain rooted during such times of intense loneliness. However, this too shall pass.

The mind is a curious thing, and is not impervious from the affects of sin. We must be graceful and cautious in our approach to addressing these matters. While we may be well-intentioned in our words and actions, we may inadvertently provide ill-informed advice and care to those who are hurting. As someone who has, off and on, experienced loneliness and depression, I can speak to the illogical thoughts and feelings that appear when experiencing such matters. While we may know that the thoughts of loneliness and sadness are not true or unfounded, we are burdened by the weight the circumstances we find ourselves in. Loneliness and depression can go hand-in-hand with one another, and oft times come in relationship to one another. For myself, loneliness came first and then the mild depression. As I write this now, both have passed and been removed from their residences in my life. As unwelcome of guests as they may be, I have had to reflect upon myself and the tendencies I have in how I respond to changes in my emotional and mental well-being.

I have, without a shadow of a doubt, been called into ministry. Looking back through life, I see the path and opportunities God placed before me to bring me to where I am today. He has sought my heart and obedience so that I may want His will over my will. However, as I’ve gone deeper and deeper into this process, I have learned from my peers and friends who are in ministry of the dangers of this calling. One fact that I have seen in my life and in others, is that those who are called into ministry are attacked through different means. One of the more quiet, less visible means by which they are attacked is loneliness. In leading others, in serving others, and in creating a space for people to flourish, the illusion may appear that ministers/pastors/leaders are without suffering. Do not be fooled! We can easily forget that we are all broken, because of the way in which people carry themselves. Not that people are putting up a front or trying to wear a mask, but we carry ourselves in a manner based on who God says that we are. Our hope and trust in God dictates how we conduct ourselves in spite of whatever trial we may be facing.

Having said all that I have, I recognize that I have some areas which may feed these uninvited guests. Firstly, I tend to put other’s needs above my own. I favor lifting others up over speaking up that I am hurting. Secondly, I can fall into the trap of belief that because others do not show the same level or awareness of compassion that I do, that must mean that others do not care. We are all gifted very different and have different skill sets suited for different tasks. I happen to be called to and gifted in counseling which has very specific methods of execution. Much of my expectations in being cared for stem from my own background, which is not how most people are going to operate. Finally, I carry/conduct myself very particularly and as a leader among my church family, the perception seems to be that I have life figured out and that life is easy. None of us, in reality, believe that anyone else’s lives are perfect or easy or without their struggle. We do, however, sometimes forget that reality for any number of reasons. I’m guilty of this too.

As I finish writing this post, these feeling have since subsided and been subdued. Loneliness and depression are uninvited guests who can linger for some time or pass quickly. Fortunately, both have moved on quickly in realization that I am not going to wallow in self-pity and self-doubt. I have a community that is focused on transparency and accountability who I can rely upon to walk with me through whatever season I find myself in. I wish to encourage you, whomever may be reading this, to seek out a community who will serve you, love you, and walk through every season with you! If you are hurting and in despair, lean in to those around you! Surround yourself with other who love you and care for you and be willing to speak up about the difficult parts of your life. Be willing to let go of the bondage of loneliness, depression, and sin and find hope, freedom, and mercy in the hands of God! Be brave, not matter the fear or doubt you may have, to speak up when you are hurting. Rely upon those God has placed in your life and trust in His purposeful placement of those around you!

Look at Your Life Through Heaven’s Eyes

Pause for just a moment, with me, and clear your mind of anything that is vying for your attention and focus. Take a deep breath and let the stresses of the day roll off your shoulders for a few moments while you and I take this time to reflect upon God’s incredible handiwork! If you will, take a second to look about your surroundings and notice the sheer amount of detail that went into making things. I look around and see the precise stitching on a baseball, the textured patterns of woodgrain that house studio monitors, the texture of graphite upon paper, and the tiny switches that enable keyboards to make that satisfying click. Now, if you will, look at the image below and marvel at God’s handiwork!

If you click on the full size image, you’ll notice the superb details and textures of the Earth’s surface, the shadows being cast by the clouds, and the changes in the sea floors as it plummets deeper into the ocean! God made all of that, you know? Every grain of sand, every droplet of water, every leaf, and every cloud. God shaped and molded and placed exquisite detail into every part of the universe that I cannot help but marvel at His awesome power! But I ask, why do you believe that God did not put just as much, if not more, detail into creating you?

I ask this question of you, because I know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. I know that God has instilled within you a purpose and that He has gifted you with many talents and skills unlike anyone else! You have been uniquely created by the God of the universe with a life unlike any other! No two snowflakes, supposedly, are identical in their makeup just as no two people are completely identical in their makeup! God has a very specific plan for you and your life that is set apart from others. Sure, some will follow in similar trails and paths but no one is walking your life exactly as you are. So why do we try to force ourselves and others through the same cookie cutter mold as if we’re all going along the same path?

You and I have our own agendas, our own timelines, and our own expectations for our lives which greatly influence the way in which we operate through life. We, unfortunately, become beholden to, slaves of, our own expectations from which we cannot see beyond. I’ve got to get good grades in high school so I can attend this college, I’ve got to be married by 23, have kids by 30, have 6 puppies, and a house on 50 archers of land. We’ve got to do this to get to that. We’ve get this job or do this job. These agendas serve as a gauge in which we measure ourselves to that which we perceive as being most beneficial for ourselves, but another measure lies waiting just beyond our attention. Comparison.

Unfortunately, when life does not meet our expectations we wonder where we went wrong and why we’re not seeing the same successes as others in our immediate area. Why are all of my friends getting married, but I cannot seem to even get into a relationship? All of my friends are beginning their master’s degrees, but I cannot even seem to graduate with my undergrad. People my age are buying new homes and cars, but I cannot afford to move out of my parent’s home. This girl is so pretty. He’s so handsome. This. That. The greatest villain to our perception of ourselves is comparison! We perceive, without a full understanding, what others have that we lack yet want, and get discouraged. We make attempts to have what others have to no avail, and wonder why we’re not seeing the same results. Both of these gauges fail to truly reveal the higher purpose we have been designed with.

Thus, I raise the question back to you again. Why do you believe that the God who put extraordinary detail into every facet of the universe put less detail and attention into making you? Now, I’ll be honest, I have doubted God. I have had a faulty perspective on life because I used the two gauges above to measure my life. By all accounts, my early adulthood has been anything but ordinary. I’ve come to learn that life is no walk in the park, nor should my expectations lie in my own hands. I never truly had the ‘college experience.’ I’ve never experienced what being in a relationship is like. I’ve not experienced life on my own. I’ve struggled with my place in this world. I’ve struggled to see beyond myself. I was wrong. This is why I do not ever want to give the impression that I have life figured out or that I have everything together. My life is messy, chaotic, and not what I would have ideally planned. I’ve not met any of the arbitrary timelines that I had for myself. Even now, entering into my 6th year of college, I’ve given up on holding to something that was never mine to begin with.

God has a plan for you! He has made that clear! He created you specifically, purposefully, and willingly! You and I are no accidents or random occurrences. Our lives, as disciples of Christ, are not our own. We live not for ourselves but for God as we carry out His will in obedience. Therefore, as I’ve come to learn, we ought to look at life not through the lens of this earth or our expectations but from God’s point of view. One of the more underrated animated movies, Prince of Egypt, has a wonderful moment of transition when Moses begins to have his perspective shift. You may watch the scene here, but the lyrics say:

A single thread in a tapestry
And though its color brightly shines.
Can never see its purpose
In the pattern of the grand design.

And the stone that sits up on the very top
Of the mountain’s mighty face.
Does it think that it’s more important,
Than the stones that forms the base?

So how can you see what your life is worth,
Or where your value lies?
Oh, you can never see through the eyes of man.
You must look at your life
Look at your life through heaven’s eyes!

A lake of gold in the desert sand,
Is less than a cool fresh spring.
And to one lost sheep, a shepherd boy,
Is greater than the richest king!

Should a man lose everything he owns,
Has he truly lost his worth?
Or is it the beginning,
Of a new and brighter birth?

So how do you measure the worth of a man?
In wealth or strength or size,
In how much he gained or how much he gave?

The answer will come to him who tries,
To look at his life through heaven’s eyes.

Through Heaven’s Eyes – Prince of Egypt

I find encouragement within the premise of this song as it serves as a reminder that so much of what we perceive about life stems from our limited perspective. Our humanly tendency is to elevate others based on many factors like success, wealth, power, influence, social status. The same is true when we evaluate our own sinfulness. My gossiping is not the same as murdering someone. My anger is not the same as stealing. The lies I tell are not nearly as bad as those who use other’s for their pleasure. We like to quantify and justify our actions based on worldly standard when all sins are equal in the eyes of God. We are all fallen and sinful. None of us are free from death that comes from sin. Comparison comes to rob us of joy, of peace, and of perspective.

We must shift our focus away from our humanly perspective and seek understanding from God. You see, God values you. Treasures you more accurately. He created you and knew you before you knew of yourself. He has plans for you. He wants to use you and your life for something far bigger than your plans or your expectations. God wants to use you to reach those who have not yet come to know God. To speak life into the void, to be a beacon of hope in the darkness. You, your life, are a vessel! When we shift our perspective toward God’s view, we get a glimpse at the bigger picture! As the scope of our focus widens and we are able to see more, the details remain. The stone at the top of the mountain is just as much apart of the mountain as the stone that rests at the heart of the mountain. The leaf that rests atop the highest tree is just as much tree as the root that holds the plant to the Earth’s surface. You are just as much part of God’s design as everything else!

Earlier, I mentioned how we attempt to filter everybody through the same mold. Our experiences, relationships, paths through life, and more must seemingly fit through the same mold when that is so far from the truth. We make an echo chamber out of one another as we fail to address one another without pretense or expectation. Let’s face it, not only do we have expectations for ourselves, we have expectations for those around us. Who we want them to end up with. How they should behave. What we would like them to become. What we hope their lives blossom into. This fact reveals the fundamental flaw in our internal systems. Our own biases. You’re biased! Congratulations! Now, in recognizing that your biases, you may work against them in yourself and toward others!

I ask that you take a moment to pause once again, and re-examine yourself. Where is God leading you? Where is God calling you? Where is God attempting to work in your life? Are you resisting against him? Are you wrestling with what God is asking you to step out in faith in? Have you undervalued yourself because you’ve lost sight of the intrinsic value God bestowed upon you? Look at your life through God’s eyes. Who does He say that you are? Who does He want you to become? Where is He leading? There is peace with God. There is hope with God.

I know that I have caused myself so much additional stress and strife because my life did not reflect what I thought life was suppose to be. I did not meet my own timeline or society’s timeline, but I have learned that none of us are walking identical paths through life. I have come to appreciate God’s wisdom and timing because I’m in a far better place than even I would have imagined. I’ve also come to see some faulty reasoning in my personality in regards to my appreciation of idealism and efficiency. Ultimately, I had to take a step back from my life and pause from my headlong charge forward. What is it that I’m really pursuing? My own ends or God’s will? Why am I trying to rip open doors that God has stated that it not yet time? You and I forget to pause, especially in our society where news becomes old in a matter of minutes, for reflection. God has detailed, incredible plans for you and your life! God designed you with a purpose! God knows you better than any other person on this Earth ever could! Believe that He is working in your life for the better! God did not create you aimlessly. God did not just make you detailed for thoroughness’ sake! But, until we stop and examine our lives through Scripture, through God, we will never truly learn of the greater possibilities of what may come of our lives! So pause, look through Heaven’s eyes and see life according the Creator of the universe!

Remember: Remember Who You Are

Y’all, today was a long day. Those day’s where your body and mind are sore and restless. The kind of day where you’d rather do nothing and don’t want to be doing whatever task is required of you. Today was that day. I did not want to be at work, at all. Today was the polar opposite of the day before, when I was given a compliment that stopped me in my tracks, which is a rarity. I’m not one to normally be phased by words of encouragement, well, at least ones that catch me off guard. However, that was the highlight of yesterday. So today, after work, I sat down in my car and was staring at the miniature cow that sits on my dashboard and thinking about just how blessed I am.

Last year, I started at Chick-fil-A and one of the first purchases I made was of a plush cow to place in my car as a reminder of the blessing of getting a job after being unemployed for nearly a year. Today, I was not feeling very grateful. The Holy Spirit hit me with some of that good ole conviction. Well, to be honest, I had lost sight of the blessing God had graced me with. When I got home from work, I got into a call with a friend of mine at Seminary and proceeded to use two hours to catch up on the importances of life. Through this, I was reminded of the numerous times that Jesus or the Apostles would tell people to remember the many, many occurrences where God poured our blessings upon His chosen people, and how His provision carried them throughout history. Now, one cheeky Lion King reference for a title and a head full of thoughts and a simple premise. Remember who you are.

As believers, we are pulled in countless directions. The enemy tries to keep our focus everywhere but where we ought to be focused. We must keep our focus on God. Why? Because He is the source of our identity. Y’all, for those of you who are believers, followers of Christ, we are children of the one true king! We are valued beyond all measure, and God has made every attempt to show us His love and goodness! He is the provisioner of our needs, our comforter, our secret place. Yet, like me today, we forget and get distracted from the reality of our connection to God. So today, instead of extrapolating some lesson from my life with some Biblical connection, I wanted to encourage you, the reader. Remember that you belong to God, that He has called you by name. He knows you! He loves you! Remember that God has called you into His flock! Remember who you are!

 

Grace and Peace,

Terren-It-Up