Being in a situation where you are powerless, helpless is something none of us wish to experience. The inability to control the circumstances of our lives strikes fear and anxiety in some, and over the past week myself. While there are a great many things in the universe that we have no power over, like black holes or lightning bolts, there are things that we do have control over that betray us. This past week, my body decided to revolt by getting very ill. I spent the last week with some lingering illness that stole my energy and appetite. I have lived on water, Sprite, and electrolytes. I’ve not eaten much, and only today have I gone back to ‘normal’ food. Being sick is never pleasant, ever. I am fortunate that I do not fall ill very often and the last time I needed to see a doctor for some illness was in 2015. However, the torturous frustration that mounted with this lingering illness is that I began to feel better halfway through last week only to then get sick again. I truly felt helpless… I didn’t feel fear or anxiety, but as time went on I grew more and more frustrated. I would feel better only to then get sick again and again and again! Ugh!
Yet, in falling ill and having some new founded energy, I look back upon that sense of helplessness and see how in life I and so many others have been helpless. Y’all, life is hard! Being an adult is like being a toddler that is just learning to walk. We bump into things and stumble through the world around us hoping just to stay on our feet. Fortunately, for toddlers at least, there are usually parents around to catch them and keep the child removed from any serious dangers. Falling is not something to fear, for we can just get back. It comes when we fall into something, like a table or the stone mantle of the fireplace where things become a little more serious. Unlike the toddler, we, as adults, do not always have our parents around to be a safety net. Independence has given way to an ever encroaching sense of helplessness. What job do I take? Who do I date? How do I make ends meet? How am I going to afford this and that? This sense of helplessness is largely apparent in the millennial generation. Why? Well, a shift in some political focus has driven many, not all, to seek governmental intervention in perceived injustice. The appeal for governmental assistance in healthcare, wages, and many other areas are, at least in my eyes, an appeal by people who feel helpless in their situation. They, in their helplessness, have sought the aid of the government. Their appeal is to a higher power, to an entity that is perceived to have more power then they currently have. Now, I am not inherently making any assessment on political views, as my views are my own. Yet, I am making an observation of the power dynamics at hand. An observation.
I lost all of last week to the illness that had befallen me. It, as I previously said, was lingering. It would not leave me! Being able to recognize that I was not getting better meant that I needed to seek a higher authority than my senses, which meant seeking out my doctor. So too, in the life of the believer, have we had to seek a higher authority. The Christian life is one of reflection, as I’ve mentioned in many previous posts. As I have had time to recount over my troubles of the last week, I have come to draw a connection between my life before Christ and my life after Christ. Y’all, before becoming a follower of Christ, I was like the toddler. I stumbled through life. I was helpless. I did not have a purpose, I did not have clarity. I was sinner. See, sin is like the illness that I had. It lingers within us, and it, unlike my illness, is not curable. There is nothing you or I could ever do to fix or remove sin from our lives. Sin has corrupted us, like a virus corrupts the cells of our bodies, and has resulted in our selfishness, our wickedness. There is no antibiotic for sin, nor is there any medication that eases the pain of sin. Sin weighs us down, wears us down until we feel total depravity. Total helplessness. Once we can recognize the helplessness of our fight against sin, can we then seek the one whose sacrifice may atone for sin. The atonement of Jesus Christ’s death on the cross.
Y’all, Christ died on the cross after living a perfect life! He was tempted just as we are, and yet he did not sin. He did no wrong, and yet he was killed on a cross for the sin of the world. For you and I! It was only in my helplessness that I could see that Christ was the only means of being taken out of my helplessness. You see, I’ve always been an inquisitive individual. I never (hardly) take what I’m told at face value. I must come to a conclusion on my own before I accept something as truth. You could tell me that the sky is blue, and I would be agreeable to your assertion, but I would not accept it until I have completed my research. The same thing is true of my path to becoming a follower of Christ. I had to seek God out, I had to do my research. Ultimately, I found that there was no other means by which I could be taken out of my helplessness except through Christ. Why is this? I had to appeal to a higher power, a higher authority. Why? Cause I do not know what is best for my life. I am like that toddler that is stumbling through the living room. I need someone to guide me and to show me the way. I have support, not a safety net. Nothing is promised to me, and yet I am promised security in Christ. I am no longer helpless.
While this may not be my most well thought out piece, nor is it my most polished work, it is a small glimpse into my reflection. I am thankful to be slowly feeling more and more normal. I am thankful that I am not helpless. While I hardly become ill, this previous week has been an important reminder that I cannot alway rely on myself and my wits to secure my healing.
Grace and Peace,